Transition: Social and Legal

When we are born we have next to no control over our lives, although a healthy set of lungs may well keep parents on a short leash, but as for assigned sex and name, the latter is dictated by the medical profession, and the our parents.

And for about ninety-nine percent of the population, their assigned sex is never questioned, but for the remainder, at some point in their life they will reach a point where they cannot continue living in accordance to this assigned sex, and begin a process called transition.

Initially this episode was going to cover all three forms of transition; social, legal and medical, however as I began researching the episode, I realised that the amount of material I was discovering would require the episode to be split into two.

The first part would have covered social and legal transition, and the second the medical transition, however as the medical path if trans female is quite different to the trans male path, I felt a further split would be justified.

Welcome to “Trans Wise Trans Strong”, I am Carolyne O’Reilly.

Episode twenty-two, “Transition: Social and Legal”

Even when one decides to transition, the enormity of what this means can seem quite and looking back, I regret that I didn’t feel able to begin transitioning earlier, if I had the knowledge then, that I have now, I am sure I would have began transitioning much, much earlier.

Also there is the decision of whether or not to come out, and not coming out is called living “stealth”, which maybe for privacy, and these days safety could also be a factor, however it can cause a significant psychological strain.

And even if not living stealth, there is no escape from psychological strain, given the virulent transphobia of some groups and people, that has arose over the last few years, as well as the possible passing into law of a piece of legislative transphobia, courtesy of the Equalities and Human Rights Commission’s guidance.

I remember in the eighties, the new wave of comedians who supplanted the older generation, had a credo that they would not base their humour around sexism, racism and homophobia.

Can’t say I recall any mention of not being transphobic, and now if you accuse someone of being, a racist or homophobic, you can practically see the bristles rising, yet for transphobia, they might say, “well there’re two sides”, or “gender identity is still being debated”, err, as far as I am concerned, that would be a no to both.

Taking racism as an example, it would be as if you where saying being racist is a valid point of view, yes I know nuts, but for gender identity that is the argument, and even a certain well known broadcaster will voice contributions from groups that I feel are absolutely transphobic, sighting impartiality.

That broadcaster being the BBC, and in case you feel I am throwing stones from the outside, I worked for them for nearly 23 years as a senior (broadcast) operations engineer.

But what form do the first two categories of transition take, well social and legal will have a degree of overlap, and even the third, medical, will have some overlap with legal, as a Gender Recognition Certificate will require medical evidence before being granted.

Every person who transitions, will socially transition to some degree and for some this may be enough, then there are those that will make some legal changes, and finally there are those like myself who will also medically transition, which I will discuss in the first of the next two episodes.

So starting with social transition, possibly the first thing a person may do is change their name, which maybe because it is gendered, or that their birth name is no longer reflective of who they are, and to use a trans or nonbinary person’s previous name is called deadnaming, which according to the Oxford English Dictionary, was first used as a noun in 2010.

And to deliberately deadname someone, would be transphobia if the person is transgender or enbyphobia if they are nonbinary.

And if the transphobia/enbyphobia was virulent enough, it could be well considered a hate crime, which is any criminal offense motivated by hostility or prejudice based on or the perception of a person’s identity, and would be in this case for, “transgender identity”.

And in fact there are five categories of hate crime in Britain, and the others are based on or the perception of; race, religion, disability and sexual orientation, and for Northern Ireland there is an additional category, sectarianism.

And related to a person’s name are the pronouns they use to describe themself, and fall under one of two categories, gendered and non-gendered.

The common gendered pronouns are ; she / her / hers, and he / him / his, and similarly for non-gendered are; they / them / their / theirs, and you mighty think that using “they” in the singular is relatively new, well according to the Oxford English Dictionary, “they”, can be traced back to 1375, were it appeared in the medieval romance, “William and the Werewolf”.

Other gender neutral pronouns are Ze, spelt ZE, which dates back to 1864, and appeared in the “Ladies' Repository”, an American monthly periodical as an alternative to she or he, as is Xe, spelt XE, which was coined by Don Riickter and appeared in an edition of the Universalist World Magazine on the 1st of May 1973.

And for her/his there is Hir, spelt HIR which was coined in the 1920’s in California, in “The Sacramento Bee newspaper” and there is also Xem, spelt XEM, coined again by Don Rickter, and was from that same May edition of the Universalist World Magazine.

Alongside a possible name change, and pronoun preference, there may well be a change of gender expression, which is how the world perceives you, and the degree and speed of gender expression change when a person begins to transition, is a very personal matter, as is how a person expresses their gender.

My gender expression, as a trans woman is female, and for someone who is trans male may well express themselves as male, however there is no rule to says you must, as I said, it is a personal matter.

However if one is nonbinary, there is the “Androgyny Trap”, which “The Harvard Crimson”, the oldest continuously published US daily college newspaper, discussed in an article, Nonbinary People Don’t Want to Owe Androgyny, But We Do It to Survive.

So what is the Androgyny Trap, essentially it is societies expectation that nonbinary people should have a gender neutral expression, I feel that if the understanding of what it means to be transgender, by some, is not great, then being nonbinary is even less well understood.

For me, as I was working at the time, and some of my colleagues had known me for about sixteen years before I began my transition, my change was gradual, with a definite androgenous phase, and it was early on my transition that my voice feminisation speech therapist recommended a psychotherapist, Dr Kenneth Demsky.

The reason I wanted to see a psychotherapist, was because I was finding transition a struggle, and seeing Dr Demsky gave me the confidence to begin wearing make-up, nail varnish and moving from dressing androgynously to dressing only in female clothes, to the extend I would only wear skirts.

And the reason wasn’t just that I preferred wearing skirts to jeans, but was also to avoid misgendering, that is being mistaken for your previous gender, which may be more likely early in transition, although it could happen even a bit later into a person’s transition.

One particular issue can be the voice on the phone, perhaps because there is no visual gender reinforcement, and a trick I adopt is to always give my name when I first talk to someone new on the phone, such as making an appointment.

There was a slight issue with skirts though, as I said I was a broadcast engineer and we had an apparatus room which we had to regularly go in, had air conditioning that blew chilled air up from grills in the floor, ever seen Marilyn Monroe’s, “The Seven Year Itch”, I definitely made sure to step around those bloody floor grills.

Another aspect of gender expression is deportment; posture, walking, body movement and then there is social etiquette.

The next time you go outside, look at difference between how people move their body if female compared with if they are male.

So starting with walking, as a generalism, if female, walking is from the hips, due to the shape of the pelvis, whereas male walking tends to be from the shoulders, as males generally have wider shoulders than females.

Also if female, again as a generalism, the stride length is shorter, therefore if one is trans female one might wished to walk in the same manner as someone cisgender female, and likewise if trans male, to walk like someone who is cisgender male.

Another aspects is how the hands are held, with women’s holding their hands in a more relaxed than men, and when women sit they sit with the legs together.

Whereas, and this is a bugbear with me, some men sit with their legs wider apart than the Grand Canyon, I am a lesbian, so seriously, not impressed.

And social etiquette differs and again I am speaking in generalism, when men met in the past they would shake hands, whereas women meeting may hug, that said in Britain I feel male encounters are definitely becoming less rigid and more relaxed.

Then touched on earlier, is the voice, and although I said this episode will not discuss medical transition, the pitch of the trans male voice will be lowered by Gender Affirming Hormone Therapy (GAHT).

That said pitch is just one aspect by which we judge the gender of a voice, and the other is how the voice is used, and for someone trans male, having speech therapy may still be beneficial.

As for the trans female voice, if they have gone puberty inline with there assigned sex, then the damage has already been done, and female GAHT will unfortunately, make no difference, therefore for most, speech therapy will be the answer, although as will be discussed in the next episode, there is a surgical option.

In the third episode, The New Eugenics, I highlighted the role back of trans and nonbinary rights by, “he who shall not be named”, little knowing that just three days after publishing that episode, there would be the judgement in the case of For Women Scotland Ltd (Appellant) v The Scottish Ministers (Respondent).

That judgement would lead to the Equalities and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) producing guidance for MPs and peers to consider, and raise any concerns they may have, between the 21st of May 2026 to the end of June 2026.

I won’t hold my breath for a positive out come though.

I did examine that Supreme Court ruling, and how it interpreted, not only the Equality Act 2010, but also the Gender Recognition Act 2004, which was very unfavourably for trans and nonbinary people, in the episode, Trans Lives Matter.

I feel it is worth highlighting again section 9, subsection 1 of the “Gender recognition Act 2004” which begins, “Where a full gender recognition certificate is issued to a person, that person’s gender becomes for all purposes the acquired gender..”, which you would think was quite clear cut.

Yes there were some exceptions in the Gender Recognition Act 2004, that are exclusionary, yet after that Supreme Court ruling, and the EHRC’s initial guidance, exclusion if trans, seems to be multiplying like some virulent virus, particularly if trans female, I wonder what its “R” number is.

The final area of social transition I was going to discuss, was going to be about social spaces, however if that EHRC guidance before Parliament, is fully implemented, I fear many places if trans or nonbinary, will result in a door slammed in the face.

Although the guidance applies equally if trans male as trans female, I’d suggest that the impact if trans female will be greater than if trans male, but why might this be?

I would proffer that a component of trans female transphobia, is sexism, that there is a societal assertion in regards how one looks and presents oneself if female, whereas if trans male there seems to be a less critical judgment.

Also there is so called “male privilege”, that some transphobic feminists castigate trans females with, that prior to transition they have benefited from male privilege, well as far as I can see, there is no privilege in being a passenger in a body that as you grow older is becoming ever more alien.

But perhaps the fundamental aspect of transphobia and enbyphobia is a total misunderstanding that a person’s gender identity, is determined by their psychology, not their physiology, its just that as mentioned in the introduction, for about ninety-nine percent of the population their gender identity and assigned sex, are one in the same.

And even before that Supreme Court Ruling and the EHRC guidance, trans female exclusion was being enforced, and now encompasses international sporting organisations, including the IOC, the International Olympic Committee.

Girlguiding UK and the Women’s Institute, have recently also instituted trans female exclusion.

And there are other areas, such as toilets both public and corporate, and yes I am looking at you Barclays Bank, changing rooms, hospital wards, the list just goes on.

I am determined that my world is not going to shrink, to the point where I feel I cannot leave my home, but this does mean I could risk arrest just for going to the toilet.

Of course when a trans or nonbinary person changes their name, as part of their transition it is not just a social change but will also involve making legal name changes, as their new name is not just how they now wish to be addressed, but how they are referred to in documentation.

And changing these range from relatively easy, to feel like you are banging your head against a brick wall.

I won’t list all the documents as there are quite a lot as I found out when I began changing my name to Carolyne, and perhaps because I didn’t change my surname, some changes where a bit easier, and the reason I didn’t change my surname was because I am proud of the Irish part of my heritage.

And essentially there are those changes that can be made without a deed poll and those requiring one, and a very important point about a deed poll in the UK, you do not need to pay for one, also official governmental UK sites end .gov.uk, be wary of any that don’t.

You can Make your own unenrolled deed poll, as long as you know two people who are house owners and have known you for 10 or more years, however unenrolled implies that there is also an enrolled deed poll, so what is the difference.

An unenrolled deed poll is private, whereas an enrolled deed poll is a public record, and your name change and address will be published in The Gazette, and currently this costs £53.05.

Generally an unenrolled deed poll will be OK for most document changes, and the other documentation you may need, is proof of your former name and address.

One thing I found with my local council was, although helpful, they didn’t seem to be geared up for trans people changing their name.

Although I said I wouldn’t list all the documents that will require changing, there are two I would like to mention, a driving licence and a passport.

One was pretty easy and the other was a pain, any guesses which was which, well, I could make nearly all the changes including gender change online for my passport.

Whereas for my driving licence when I tried online it was OK right up to when I entered my driving licence number, and because the initial letter of my first name did not match, I would have to revert to sending the completed form by post.

There was one slight issue in respect of my passport, because I was changing my gender I had to post to them a letter stating that my gender change was permanent, so a quick email to my gender clinic, kindly requesting a letter confirming this, soon resolved this issue.

And all these changes were achieved before I had my gender affirming surgery.

However there is one issue that applies to UK driving licences and passports, if you are trans you can have your correct sex marker, I still smile when I look at my passport and see an F next to sex, but if you are nonbinary there is no gender neutral option.

In the USA this was an option before, I think we know who, was elected the 47th President.

But it wasn’t just the gender neutral option that was removed, now if a trans person renews their passport, their sex marker will revert to that of their original birth certificate, with all the personal safety issues that will bring, possibly more so if trans female.

Although as mentioned there are many documents that can be changed with just a deed poll, there are some though that require a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC).

This became available with the passing into law of the Gender Recognition Act 2004, and with a GRC a person could update their birth or adoption certificate and get married or form a civil partnership in their affirmed gender, or update a marriage or civil partnership certificate.

And a bit grim, they can have their affirmed gender on their death certificate when they die.

Probably unsurprising, in the first few years of being available, there was a large number of applications, however this soon settled down to roughly three hundred and fifty per year, however on the 29th of June 2022, the option of applying online became available, and this saw applications per year rise to above a thousand.

For those following the main application route, there are these requirements that must be met before they can apply; they must be aged 18 or over and been diagnosed with gender dysphoria in the UK, have lived in their affirmed gender for at least 2 years, and another grim bit, intend to live in this gender for the rest of their life.

Also you can still apply to quote from the application guidance, “…even if you have not had any gender affirming surgery or treatments, or you do not plan to have any.”

Although I said a person needed a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, they still might be able to apply without a diagnosis, although they will need to meet four additional requirements.

But those requirements don’t stop there.

A person applying will need to provide a “Statutory Declaration”, which is a legal declaration that they intend to live in there affirmed gender until death, that is witnessed by either a; solicitor, justice of the peace, legal executive or notary public.

And their will also need their original or a certified copy of their full birth or adoption certificate, and if they have changed their name, a copy of their deed poll.

If they have ever been married or been in a civil partnership, photocopies or photographs of all certificates will also be needed, and if they are currently married and wish to remain married, their spouse will also have to complete a, “Statutory Declaration”.

And lastly two medical reports are also required, one from a medical doctor who is a clinical psychologist, and one from another medical doctor.

Finally the applicant must have documented proof that they have lived for at least two years in their acquired gender, from a fairly extensive list.

Then it just remains to transfer by debit or credit card the £6 fee, and submit online all the required documents, apart from the birth or adoption certificate, which after applying, will need to be either email to grpenquiries@justice.gov.uk or sent by post to the Gender Recognition Panel.

The person’s application will be reviewed by the Gender Recognition Panel within 22 weeks of them applying, and all being well they will be issued with their Gender Recognition Certificate, and after researching how to apply, applying for a GRC has gone to the top of my to do list.

As ever I would love to hear from you, which you can do so, totally anonymously, at www.twts.co.uk, on the Have Your Say page.

This episode was written and presented by me, Carolyne O’Reilly, thank you for listening.

Next time, “Transition: Medical if Trans Female”